Our selection of funny EN tweets from January (and more, see bonus)

 

How to improve your English ? By reading The Countwer of course ! So here we go

 

Let’s start with some pictures (twitpics in french)

Wow, 3D printers have really come a long way. pic.twitter.com/0iXAGb06FR

— J-LIST (@jlist) January 8, 2015

Started from a DM now we here! #DontGiveUp #DontEverGiveUp #MarriedTwitterpic.twitter.com/9LkB8VTxFg

— Wave Gawd (@TheGnarlyLife) 29 Décembre 2014

sorry but it's impossible to not love this picturepic.twitter.com/vgqz4HAMAT

— Perfect Babies ♥ (@SmilingBabys) 1 Janvier 2015

 

And now some jokes

Listen google, it's 2015. I need you to figure out who I'm talking about when I type "that one guy in that movie I didn't like."

— The Alicianater (@leechee420) January 9, 2015

Tweeting then deleting is like farting, then quickly leaving the room.

Everyone knows you did it, but there's nothing they can do about it.

— KennectTheDots (@GrabTheWEness) January 26, 2015

If the package says "OPEN HERE," I open it right there in the grocery store.

— Damon Hunzeker (@DamonHunzeker) January 22, 2015

Home alone 4:

How the fuck do we get rid of this kid?

— Roxy (@rockthechuck) January 18, 2015

I'm guessing (123) 456-789 is a fake number. I bet Sue Doku isn't even her real name either.

— Rick Aaron (@RickAaron) February 1, 2015

Meanwhile on Facebook, jenny is seriously wondering if it takes 18 months for twins to be born or just 9..

— RäRä© (@Moi_RaRa) January 31, 2015

Personal trainer: So what are your fitness goals?
Me: [peers across gym] See that ripped guy over there?
PT: Ah yes..
Me: I wanna kiss him

— Jaz (@jazmasta) January 30, 2015

Sadly, if you wear Crocs, you can't even use your shoelaces to hang yourself for wearing Crocs

— Zachary Townsend (@Mr_Kapowski) January 29, 2015

 

Davos, where people talk about climate change but…

1700 private jets expected to Davos in Switzerland to discuss climate change at World Economic Forum pic.twitter.com/RUbMDYYksT

— Flightradar24 (@flightradar24) January 20, 2015

Pharrell Williams urges climate change awareness. From a private jet. Where he sits, alone: http://t.co/rCfKNy4d78 pic.twitter.com/hTbPKCwpnq

— Jerome Hudson (@JeromeEHudson) January 22, 2015

 

Charlie Hebdo

Charlie Hebdo on track to beat Piketty's record for "most English words about a French thing written by people who haven't read it".

— zatapatique (@zatapatique) January 11, 2015

 

Back in the 90’s, with the X-Files

Golden. @LilyTomlin @Janefonda @KatieHeigl pic.twitter.com/mYt6uaUfh6

— David Duchovny (@davidduchovny) January 13, 2015

.@davidduchovny Trying to make me jealous? Take that, MF! -GA pic.twitter.com/Innur2xAJh

— Gillian Anderson (@GillianA) January 14, 2015

 

There was a storm in NYC. The canadian reactions :

The 'huge snowstorm' about to hit New York is what we in Montreal refer to as 'weather'.

— Beerhaze (@Beerhaze) January 26, 2015

An American blizzard to Canadians is called a "LOL".

— GrossHopper (@AGStr8upNinja) January 27, 2015

 

Hello kids

OMG!!! I can't find my thing because it's put away in the place where it's supposed to go.

-Kids

— Jen Good (@buriedwithkids) January 26, 2015

I wish my wife would stop telling the kids that Chewbacca is "kinda like a Bigfoot". They're two separate species from different galaxies

— Pete Lynch ⚪️ (@PJTLynch) January 11, 2015

 

Don’t read those tweets if you are hungry

Apparently, cupcakes are just called "a cake" when you eat 27 of them.

— jordan (@jordan_stratton) January 22, 2015

S is about the only thing that salad and sexy have in common

— Anna Nonymous (@osoplain) January 13, 2015

https://twitter.com/dru0887/status/560533748304076801
 

Bonus : some funny tweets but not from january,should be

https://twitter.com/CheetoBandito77/status/446266117171208192

Hearing my own voice on recording makes me want to apologize to every single person I've ever talked to.

— Ignoble Savage (@drayzze) March 3, 2014

If you love someone let them sleep

— Eve (@lovemydogduck) November 12, 2014

I saw a girl wearing a "fight poverty" t shirt. So to try to impress her, I went over and punched a homeless person.

— swollenvoice (@swollenvoice) December 1, 2011

 

This is it for january. If you missed the other Countwer, just click here. And don’t hesitate to like our Facebook Page by clicking on the picture :

 

On the Countwer: