The best tweets of November 2015
People are weird :
This guy just created a group chat for everyone named 'Ryan Brown' on Facebook. pic.twitter.com/O2NnXVrFHR
— Ryan Brown (@Toadsanime) November 13, 2015
Wife: we are so in love, we even finish each other's…
Me: DILDO MUSEUM!
— Snorklhuahua (@weinerdog4life) November 12, 2015
– sings lyrics
– sings lyrics
– sings backup vocals
– sings guitar riffs
– plays air drum the entire song
— Brick Tamland (@Ch4BrickTamland) November 13, 2015
Teacher: ok class bring your dioramas to the front of the class
Me: [holding a bowl of diahorrea] oh no…
— a potential employer (@egg_dog) November 11, 2015
captain: ok gary, ur going to the moon, any concerns?
gary: well, oh jeez, what if-
captain: space dracula doesnt exist gary.
— dickso fruit (@DiscoFruit) November 11, 2015
So psyched! My 1st granddaughter born today:
Which is not the name I'd have chosen, but I guess I need to keep up with the times.
— 🇺🇸Frank Whitehouse 🇺🇸 (@WheelTod) November 19, 2015
The migrant crisis and terrorism plagued November :
Incredibly powerful cartoon. "If she drowns she's a refugee, if she floats she's an economic migrant." pic.twitter.com/UBou468PXc
— Shehab Khan (@ShehabKhan) November 5, 2015
Twitter should have a function where before you can do a tweet about Syria you have to click Syria on a map.
— joe (@mutablejoe) November 15, 2015
Beckie: "Muslims should tell ISIS to stop"
Me: *takes phone out* "hello ISIS, it's me pls stop"
ISIS: "ok srry"
— anys (@JeSuisAnys) November 20, 2015
— Alexandre Hervaud (@AlexHervaud) November 16, 2015
— Carl Fridh Kleberg (@FridhKleberg) November 26, 2015
— Pat Bagley (@Patbagley) November 27, 2015
Nicest Satanists ever pic.twitter.com/b3tmHtfgSF
— rabia O'chaudry (@rabiasquared) November 19, 2015
Guns in America, a problem yet to be solved
1.4 Million: Americans who died in all Wars fought since 1776.
1.4 Million: Americans who died via household Guns since 1968
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) November 9, 2015
*mic drop* pic.twitter.com/f37CmX27gY
— Matthew Ciszek (@mciszek) November 20, 2015
Time to dive in the HEART OF DARKNESS
me: hello darkness my old friend
darkness: you are going to hate me but I forgot your name
— bens rights activist (@UniqueDude2) November 8, 2015
— Joe Dator: Into The Dator-Verse (@JoeDator) November 23, 2015
have you ever seen more existential horror than this photo of jim davis from the official garfield licensing website pic.twitter.com/yUAJXh6mzb
— chris randle (@randlechris) November 23, 2015
And a little bit of randomness to end this selection :
I'm guessing it depends on their gender and sexual preference assignment. pic.twitter.com/srDFmGztxT
— Warren Lapine (@WarrenLapine) November 29, 2015
Dog 911: what's ur emergency?
Dog: MY HUMAN WENT TO WORK
Dog 911: so?
Dog: WHAT IF THIS TIME HE DOESN'T COME BACK
Dog 911: OMG
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) November 19, 2015
computer: please enter a password
computer: *sheds a tear* strong enough for me
— paperwash© (@PaperWash) November 19, 2015
Family Fun pic.twitter.com/ijqrJoubgJ
— mr. joshua (@pants) November 25, 2015
"Not bad" – Fine
"Not too bad" – Pretty good
"Not too bad at all" – Best thing ever
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) November 8, 2015
Watching a movie for the first time is a flirt. Rewatching it, is a date.
— Guillermo del Toro (@RealGDT) November 27, 2015