hey there delilah I’ve been having some sexual thoughts about you and I’d like to share over text if you’d enjoy that

— Beans After Dark (@goodbeanalt) December 3, 2019

son: why is my sisters name rose?

dad: because your mother loves roses

son: what about me?

dad: well that’s a long story, baby yoda

— Beans After Dark (@goodbeanalt) December 2, 2019

philosophers be like sorry I can’t hang out today I have to be

— Beans After Dark (@goodbeanalt) November 2, 2019

fellas we’re done for https://t.co/ECrgYOeffv

— Beans After Dark (@goodbeanalt) October 29, 2019

James Charles being cancelled by the entire internet in a day is the modern version of Caesar being stabbed 23 times by the Roman senate but much funnier

— Beans After Dark (@goodbeanalt) May 11, 2019