when i was on the suicide hotline telling them my plan to put my head in the oven and they told me ovens don’t emit poisonous gas anymore and i hung up out of embarrassment

— ❤️‍🔥 (@dunwaIl) August 17, 2022

what do you mean “shoutout to all the milfs” isn’t a proper mother’s day greeting

— mary goore (@dunwaIl) May 10, 2020

my spotify wrapped pic.twitter.com/qnWOMjwT4F

— mary goore (@dunwaIl) December 5, 2019

funeral director: i’m so sorry for your loss
me: thank you
jk rowling: harry’s dad once took 3 cocks at once
me: not now jk

— ikra (@dunwaIl) March 17, 2019